Decade of Blind Dates by Richard Alther

Title: Decade of Blind Dates  
Author: Richard Alther
Publisher: Lethe Press
Length: Novel/325 pages
Buy the book: Paperback

Blurb:

Peter Bauman, a forty-five-year-old divorced gay painter, plunges into the personal ads just prior to the Internet in his quest for the perfect partner.

He dates a colorful cast of characters from a Connecticut physician, a rabid Republican, to a Texas-two-stepping, tattooed punk. Next there’s the heavier-than-advertised geek who arrives with a bag of sex toys, but Peter is more serious with a handsome, stern Maine woodsman, followed by a British aristocrat patron who declines further intimacy because of his AIDS.

As Peter negotiates his new gay identity, his best friend, Barry, counsels and supports him at every step, especially as Peter deals with a health crisis. During a decade of sex and shenanigans, Peter, encouraged by his ex-wife, daughter, and son, examines his life and, at last, discovers his soul mate.

Review:

This debut novel from the author takes a wide look at middle aged dating among gay men. The narrative is told in chronological episodes, year by year, of the main character’s drive to find the perfect partner. Looking for that elusive combination of good looks, sex appeal, and emotional connection, the search is not always easy and as indicated by the title, can take a while. The story is not just an endless look at one blind date after another though but more so an examination of ten years of the main character’s life as he goes through life changes, health scares, friends dying, solidifying existing friendships, and finally finding love where he never thought to look. This creates a solid story filled with humor, tears, joy, laughter, and missteps that stands out in gay fiction.

The story follows Peter through a decade of his life as he dates, paints, and remembers his past friends and family. Due to this, the plot itself moves along without a strong driving force which accounts for the slower pace. The beginning few years finds Peter throwing himself into blind dates filled with humorous missteps and interesting characters. This is the age before internet dating and most of the looking is done through ads in magazines and newspapers. Peter works just as hard at his painting as he does finding an elusive partner. These episodes are largely filled with eccentric characters that leave Peter uninterested and quickly moving on. This portion of the story tends to fly by with a light touch and witty antics.

As the story and Peter progress, his encounters start to become more meaningful. Peter enters into several short term relationships where some he ends and some he is left. Throughout all his trials in dating, Peter’s best friend Barry and his strong family and friends show a well rounded man who is unwilling to settle. Peter wants to have both an active sex life and a deep emotional connection. Yet as the years go by, Peter starts to question himself and wonder if he can have it all. He starts to think perhaps the relationship with the almost mute Ted is acceptable since he’s very attracted to the man. Or perhaps the common interests of Willis will carry through the lackluster bedroom exercises.

The tone of the writing gets heavier as the subject matter does. Peter himself changes from the eager dater at the beginning to more selective and there are fewer and fewer overtures as he ages. There are also significant changes that go on in Peter’s life as nothing stands still while he’s looking for a partner. There is a health scare that remains a threat in his life, he moves from a small town in New Hampshire to an even more isolated home in Vermont while his painting career starts to really take off. The writing handles each of these incredibly well with sensitivity and honesty. The earlier whimsy and humor give way to deeper reflection on relationships and family. The chapter on Peter’s mother especially is the most emotional and shows how deeply she affected the person Peter became.

As I’ve said the pace is somewhat slow but it makes for a languid, enticing read. The narrative combines a healthy sex drive with emotional connections and offers several very different views into the realm of dating among middle aged gay men. The importance on looks, weight, activities, and interests all change and alter depending on each person presented and gives a very nice contrast to the non stop sex stories. The last section especially as it details a few of Peter’s more anonymous encounters shows how dating among gay men can be very different from anything else. A great look at the topic that seems somewhat autobiographical of the author, but that’s just a guess.

The slower pace and occasionally heavy tone combine with the earlier humor to deliver a great book maturing as the main character does. This growth allows the reader to really fall for Peter’s charm along with his obsession about sex and good looks while pining for a deep emotional connection. His flaws make him as appealing as all his vary attributes and his happy ending is one that simply works. For those readers looking for something different that showcases a decade of a man’s life with dating, life, health, and love, Decade of Blind Dates will certainly satisfy.