Alive On The Inside by Angelia Sparrow & Naomi Brooks

Title: Alive on the Inside
Editor: Angelia Sparrow & Naomi Brooks
Publisher: Amber Quill Press
Length: Novel / 289 pages
Buy the book: Publisher

Blurb:

Nick Harper has a nice life, a nice job, and a nice girl. Until Labor Day Weekend, when the Phantasmagoria Traveling Wonder Show comes to town.

Seduced by the dark and wickedly erotic charms of both the Phantasmagoria and Torturo, a man known in the freak sideshow as The Pain King, Nick embarks on a journey of self-discovery, love, and pain.

But the show is not what it seems. It changes those who come with it in ways they can never imagine, not even in their worst nightmares.

And Nick’s changes are just beginning…

Genres: Gay / Erotic Horror / Dark Fantasy / BDSM / Contains Some Secondary Heterosexual (M/F) And Lesbian (F/F) Content
Advisory: This book contains graphic violence, hardcore bondage and punishment, torture and blood play. May not be suitable for the more sensitive reader.

Review:

Serious kudos to the authors for writing one fascinating, completely twisted book. I admit I picked up this pretty scared due to the warning and a few reviews that basically said the book scared them for life. I promised myself the first time I got icked or scared or horrified I would put it down and walk away. What I found was I didn’t want to put the book down and ended up totally absorbed in the imaginative and fascinating but totally creepy world. The warnings are pretty on the mark and the setting is filled with elements of horror and gore to an extent. Yet the skillful writing keeps all of this moving and written in such a way that the freakish becomes common place and the gory is not so frightening. Don’t be scared by this book, it is horror but it’s so much beyond that you’ll likely be sucked in too.

The story revolves around the Phantasmagoria, a traveling carnival and freak show that travels by train. Early on the main characters are introduced in Jacob Plum, a young man that becomes Torturo and Nick Harper, a car salesman that joins the circus. These two and their tumultuous relationship form the backbone and core of the story. However, their story is not easy and the Phantasmagoria is as much a character as any other. Along with The Pain King, there are several other freaks of nature that also travel with the carnival. These include classic figures such as the bearded lady, the hermaphrodite, conjoined twins, the wolfman, and other figures of freakish lore. The book begins by introducing the carnival and how it draws Nick into its grasp but then starts to explore the lives of the people living on the train.

There are a wealth of plot points and twists that are stunning, clever, and surprising. One of the best aspects about the story is that you never know where the characters and the story will take you. There is no safety net here and every horrifying act you think couldn’t possibly happen, just may. This keeps the reader on edge, wondering where the story will go but the writing is incredibly deft and skillful. The story never goes too far into gory and shocking. The acts of the carnival and between the freak show members are told almost blandly, as now the bizarre becomes normal for them. There is blood, shock, and horror but the inclusion of magical forces as well as an emotional disconnect keeps these elements from overwhelming the story and turning it into a scary slasher. Instead the focus on other themes in between these acts gives the reader a lot of issues to focus on other than just horror and shock value.

The characters themselves are utterly fascinating just as they are complete enigmas. Each of the members of the group entered as one thing – for reasons later revealed in a sly and eye catching way – but they soon turn into something entirely different. For example the conjoined twins were sisters before joining the circus only to wake up one day fused together at the hip. For Jacob, he loses the ability to feel pain. His internal change is just as destructive, perhaps more so than some of the outward deformities and he turns into a sadist. His obsession and destructive fascination with having someone for his own leads him to claim Nick. Their on and off again relationship spanning well over a decade has all the hallmarks of a dysfunctional couple. There is abuse, obsession, co-dependency, selfishness, rage, and deep lasting love that can’t be broken even though they both try. For Nick, a bible thumping deeply closeted gay man hooking up with a drinking sadist isn’t the best move so his initial reasons for quick capitulation are suspect. However once you get by this issue, Nick’s change from whining and complaining to understanding and eventually craving his own brand of masochism is incredibly compelling.

The relationship between Nick and Jacob is not necessarily romantic, yet they love each other with a dark, sick need that is unmatched. However, not only are these two volatile but Torturo especially sleeps with anything that moves. This leads to a lot of indiscriminate sex that may turn off some readers. There is graphic m/f sex, m/m sex, f/f sex, and just about any combination that you can think of. Jacob’s co-dependency on Nick is as total as his love. But Jacob’s drinking often unleashes his sadistic, vengeful side wanting to punish Nick for any real or imagined slight regardless of Jacob’s own actions. This is not exactly a healthy relationship but is still intense and captivating. The writing here tends to be more intense in some scenes but the most shocking acts tend to be the least graphic and dramatic. Again the authors tone down the horror and state acts almost casually without dwelling on pain and terrifying emotions. This helps keep the reader emotionally distanced and still engaged in the story.

The setting of the carnival and the twists that occur from the actual purpose of the train to Nick’s own transformation and even the final resolution are well crafted with great detail and an absorbing narrative. There are some lingering questions such as if the train still runs on the same fuel but the ending is fitting and very well done. The paranormal aspects are important and help keep the story horrifying without evoking a terrified reaction from readers. I think you’ll find that even readers who aren’t necessarily fans of horror fiction will find the themes and elements included fascinating and compelling. The ideas play on familiar ideas but are still original, unique, and totally different. As a reader who absolutely will not watch horror films, this is a book I couldn’t put down and want to read again. Far from being scared for life, I’m fascinated with the world and people created in the fabulously named Phantasmagoria. Check this out; I think you’ll be just as interested.