Guardian by Kalita Kasar

Title: Guardian
Author: Kalita Kasar
Publisher: Torquere Press
Buy the book: Publisher

Blurb:

With no memories of his life before he was hit by a car as a child, Lionel Beaumont feels that rather than being born, he was dropped to earth as a ten year old. With more questions than answers, Lionel shuffles through life trying to make the best of it for himself and everyone around him. Until the night that he meets Ben Whittaker at a local pub. The answer he finds that night might just change things forever.

Review:

Lionel Beaumont has no memory of his life prior to the age of ten when he was hit by a car while riding his bike. Twelve years later, he has more questions than answers and a recurring dream of falling and darkness, claws tearing at him, and the name he always calls out…Ben. Lionel doesn’t know who Ben is, but the dream is always the same.

Lionel works as a counselor at Pickworth General Hospital and has a quiet life, all the while constantly feeling that something isn’t quite right, that he doesn’t belong to his life. Despite the photo albums his mother shows him over and over again, Lionel can’t remember anything of his childhood, much to his mother’s veiled disappointment.

After a visit to his parents’ house one night, Lionel stops by a loud bar and meets Ben Whittaker who brings about strong feelings of déjà vu from the moment Lionel looks at him. Lionel can’t escape the feeling that he knows this man who will eventually help Lionel find the answers he’s been looking for.

Guardian is a relatively short story for it being part of the Single Shot line, but the pages are filled with moving and touching words and a tale that I greatly enjoyed. The beginning starts out focusing on Lionel and his amnesia since the accident and there were heart-breaking descriptions of how Lionel, and his family, suffer due to his loss of memory.

All he had were hand-me-down memories. Given to him by his mother on those occasions when she tried so desperately to trigger something in his mind that would open the doors and let him recall something. He sighed. He hated that he’d never been able to do what she wanted.

Looking at the photos was like looking through windows at someone else’s life. The faces of his parents, their friends, were familiar, but not. Lionel closed his eyes briefly. It only brought home to him all the more clearly that his accident had not only knocked him unconscious, but had knocked the entire world a few degrees to the left, leaving him with a ten year void, and his mother with an unconsummated and unending grief. Loss without death, bereavement without closure.

All the skills that he used in his job every day would never be enough to heal the bleeding wound in his mother’s heart. There was nothing he could do and that helpless feeling made him sick.

When Lionel meets Ben, there is immediate mutual attraction leading to what both assume will be a one night stand. However both men are drawn to one another, for reasons they can’t explain. When Lionel begins to put the pieces together with Ben’s help, the story takes an unexpected and intriguing turn. There are answers for all the questions Lionel has had throughout his life, and he regains control over his past and has a good outlook for the future.

This is a tale of love and reunion, even with people Lionel has never been apart from, and I enjoyed it quite a bit. I didn’t know what to expect when I started reading, but the story provides a roller coaster ride that ends on a high point. I enjoyed the twist that comes in with the ending, and Kasar provides just the right amount of detail for the overall resolution. Lionel and Ben have intense chemistry from the moment they get together and their journey is intriguing and engaging. This is my first story of Kasar’s and I look forward to reading more.